"On With The Show"
Wake up, honey, rise and shine...
We've got a show today.
Yes, I know it's four a. m.,
We must be on our way!
Come on dear, let out the pup,
And don't let her get dirty..
Quit stallin', don't roll over...
It's goin' on four-thirty!
Oops! It's raining buckets,
Here's your 'breller and your boots.
Find a leash and get that dog!
And take the pooper scoop!
That bitch will take forever
To find a spot to whiz.
He's soaked! And she is FILTHY!
Wonder where my showlead is?
Quick! Change those muddy shoes!
Clean the dog and grab a bite.
Shower and load the cooler...
Oh DAMN! This skirt's too tight!
Can't worry 'bout that, we're running late.
Perhaps no one can tell.
Load the tack box, load the dog...
Good LORD! What IS that SMELL!!??
We really have to GO!
(Oh, NOW he has to check the oil!)
Come on! ON WITH THE SHOW!!
Gas up once, two stops to pee,
Four hours on the road.
Yes, that mudhole IS our site...
And yes, we MUST unload.
My once immaculate little girl
Is up to her butt in muck...
It's still raining, my socks are soaked...
And now the dolly is stuck!
Clean HER again, clean US again...
Where's the "ladie's room" at?
Oh, crud...a stinkin' Port-A-John!
(I shoulda figured THAT!)
A leaky porty, upon a slope,
With a swamp around the door...
No potty paper, no door lock..
How COULD I ask for MORE?!
IT'S SHOWTIME FOLKS! Grab that bitch!
Let's SWIM up to our ring!
They called our number.
"HERE we ARE"...(it's time to "do our thing".)
We slipped and slid and sloshed to the ring...
Now, where can the others be?
"THEY'RE ALL ABSENT?? (Well, I guess
They had more sense than me!)
We get the Breed! Oh happy day...
"But HON, she was the ONLY......"
"So what?" Says I, "I'm stayin' for group."
Says he, "Don't get too lonely!"
"It's 9:05, the Hound Group's LA-AST!!"...
(O-KA-AY! I get the point!)
I got the dog, you get the rest....
I guess we'll blow this joint.
Four hours home, scrape off the muck,
Flop and rest awhile.
Nada point for all that work....
So, how come I can smile?
Next week? Dear,....... remember?
Where we're gonna go?
THREE shows at another outdoor site?
HOORAY!! ON WITH THE SHOW!!